Funny Jokes
If your name is written in these stories, please do not be offended.
Thank you.
I’m sorry if some of the jokes are too rude and mean. I copied these jokes from Twitter and of course I made some of these jokes too. :)
(Outside a restaurant)
Justin: Ladies first!
Jessica: Thank you, Justin.
Jasmine: Thank Y—
Justin: I SAID “LADIES FIRST”…!!!
—
You: Mom!! Mom!! MOOOM!!!
Your Mom: WHAT?!!
You: Nothing. Psh peace out, mom!
—
Jasmine: *Falls*.
You: Hun! Are you okay? I’ll get a Doctor as soon as I can!!!
* takes the Long way and Even stops at MacDonalds*
—
Your enemy: ow!
You: Oh I’m sorry… My llama Said if she Could Kick you….
— (A=You, B=Your enemy)
B: Hey, [Your name] :)
A: *Takes out Phone* Yes Officer, I would Like to Report Murder.
—
B: Hi Lil kid.
A: Mom, is this The punk you told me to stay away from?
A’s Mom: Yes, honey.
—
B: Look there’s a car coming.
A: Cool! Why don’t you jump In front of it and see what happens?
—
Your Friend: I’m dead if my grades flunked!
*Looking at her/his grades*
You: Are they bad?
Your Friend: Uhh, yeah…
You: You’re such a big fat liar!
Your Friend: Dude, Why?!
You: You said you’re dead if your grades flunked! I was waiting until it happens!
—
You: Mom, that woman across the street is carrying a baby after she left that building… (CHILD SHELTER)
Your Mom: So?
You: You said babies came from mothers, right?
Your Mom: Well, yes.
You: Mom, before she goes to that building she wasn’t pregnant.
Your Mom: Yes…
You: OMG YOU LIED TO!! BABIES CAME FROM THAT BUILDING… WHAT IS IT CALLED?? CHILD SHELTER!!!
—
Celeb: Hey, Luvies!
You: Dude, I’m 9 and for me, that word’s gross. Not all people are your “Luvies”…!!!
—
You: You guys want a joke?
Your Friends: Yeah, sure.
You: [Your enemies name]. There you go :)
—
You: All girls/boys are beautiful/handsome. What happened to you, [Your enemies name]?
—
B: All dogs belong in the animal shelter! Yuck!
A: Hey, you’re still standing here? You said you know where you belong!!
—
A: *Looking at a pic of an ape* OMG look! It’s you! Your pic is on a site!!
B: What’s the link?
A: www.aperescuer.com
B: …
—
Your Enemy: I got more followers than you.
You: u tried To put your name as ur password ..it said” Error to ugly”
—
I have more jokes but I’m afraid there are way too many rude and mean jokes.
98% jokes in this post are from Twitter (Not my Twitter!).
Thank you for reading :)
Ciao! :))
