I'm a Teenager

Dulu gue punya temen baik yang gue percayain. Sampe akhirnya sekarang dia udah sering gives BS and CRAP ke gue dan dia jadi BACKSTABBER. And now I only believe Nadya Stephanie, who is my best friend that never talk about me behind my back and never give me any BS. She never lie to me :)

Dia nggak manfaatin gue dan dia memang asli anak baik. Not like “her”. Dia itu nggak suka musuhin orang yang sebenernya juga kegiatan pointless yang nggak gue suka. Buat apaan gitu ya musuhin orang? Nanti juga ketemu di sekolah, di jalan. Capek gue kalo punya temen yang kerjaannya cuma egois dan musuhin orang. :S

About You (: =

1 You’re funny

2 You’re cute

3 You’re beautiful

4 You’re honest

5 You’re fun

6 You’re smart

7 You’re amazing

8 You’re optimist 

9 You’re a good friend

10 You’re the best <3

Copied from Twitter’s late trending “#imagine”

I copied all of the #imagine tweets from Twitter so don’t get me wrong ‘kay? I didn’t made ‘em :/

#imagine was made for Justin Bieber. It’s like imagining Justin said that to you, and this to you and stuff :) 

#imagine your explaining a math problem to Justin* Justin: “u-huh” *distracted* You: “focus Justin!” Justin: “I can’t! You’re too beautiful”

#imagine Justin looked deeply into your eyes & said: “my love for you is a journey that starts at forever & ends at never.” ♥

#imagine Justin: “I’m gonna nickname you google.” You: “Why’s that?” Justin: “Because your everything I’ve been searching for.” he smiles ♥

#imagine you grabbed justins shirt, pulled him in & kissed him. justin: “you’re rough.. I like it ;)” ♥

#imagine You: “Are you shy?” Justin: “No.” You: “Then why are you quiet?” Justin: “You just make me speechless..” ;)

#imagine You and Justin are making out, then you see something rising by his pants, You smile, He pulls away* Justin: See what you do to me?

#imagine Justin held your hand firmly & looked into your eyes. He said: “Look me in the eyes. Promise me, that you’ll love me forever..” ♥

#imagine Justin hugged you. You pull away & he pulls you back in. Justin: “Babe, I’m not done..” ♥ 

#imagine Justin: “Hey, look at the sky.” You look up. Justin: “You’re the star & im the sky. We will never separate.” he smiles at you ♥

#imagine Pattie:”What do u love about [ur name]?” Justin:”Her eyes, her personality..”*1hourlater*..her smile..are you awake? Pattie:*Snores*

#imagine Jasmine: ”but we kissed.. dont you love me?” Justin: ”sorry.. but I locked my heart, and gave the key to [YourName] :)” ♥

#imagine Justin takes his shirt off & his phone rings. He decides to ignore it & say “no interruptions. tonight it’s just you and me (;”

#imagine Justin said to you: “I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you but I can honestly say, I am the luckiest guy in the world.” ♥

#imagine Justin: “I love her.” You: “Tell her! Make her yours before someone else d-” Justin: “I love YOU.”

#imagine Justin said: “I remember the day we first met.” He walked closer to you & whispered: “It was the best day of my life.” He kisses you.

#imagine Justin looked at you seducevly & said: “I dont like ur shirt.. take it off! ;)” & you laugh

#imagine Justin: “Ive fallen in love so many times.” You: “What? :(” Justin: “..Always with you.” 

#imagine you’re meeting Justin’s friends. Chaz: “So you’re Justin’s girlfriend ;)” Ryan: “She’s pretty hot.” Justin: “Yeah.. & she’s all mine.” ♥

#imagine you were walking away infront of Justin & his friends & he bit his lip & said: “I love the way shawty walks..” ;)

#imagine Justin held you’re hand & said: “Promise me that you’ll never stop loving me or forget about me.” ♥

#imagine you lost your scarf. Justin sneaked up behind you & said: You want it back.. You gonna have to kiss me first . ;)

#imagine you catch Justin making out with a teddy bear, pretending it’s you. Justin: “Oh I love you-” You: “Ahem.” Justin: “Awkward..” xD 

#imagine *at the beach* Ryan took a pic of you & Justin from behind. You guys are facing the sunset, holding hands. ♥

#imagine Jeremy: “Son, help me clean out the garage.” Justin: “No.” Jeremy: “For [your name]?” Justin: “Lets do this thing!!!”

#imagine Justin: “Ahhh, I want [your name] in my pants right now.” Pattie: “WHAT?!” Justin: “Huh? I didnt say anything.. :/”

#imagine Justin grabbed you from behind & you start laughing & hes smiling. He twirls you around & kisses you. ♥

#imagine You: “Do it!” Justin: “But I don’t want to..” You: “If you love me you will.” Justin: “BRING IT!!!”

#imagine Justin coming up from behind, and wrapping his arms around you and then saying: ” I love you beautiful”

#imagine Justin: Last night I bang [your name] and it was awesome, she finally- Pattie: she’s finally what?!! Justin:… Dad’s calling me. See ya, mom! *Run away*

#imagine Pattie:”Stop writing ‘I love [your name]’ all over your bedroom walls!” Justin: “Okay..” *1 hour later* Pattie:”OMG NOT ON MY WALL!!”

#imagine Pattie:”If (ur name) jumped off a cliff, would u?” Justin:”No” Pattie: :O Justin: “I would be at the bottom ready to catch her.” ♥

#imagine Justin: “I named my floor [your name]” Ryan: “..Whyy..?” Justin: “Because I can hump it whenever I get excited.” Ryan: “Wow..” ;)

#imagine Chaz: Face it.Whenever you hear her name,you smile like a loony bird. Justin: No I don’t! Chaz: [your name] *justin smiles dreamily*

#imagine Justin’s in class. Teacher: “What’s your favorite place in the whole world?” Justin: [your name]’s bed. ;)” ♥

#imagine Justin:”YES! [UR NAME]’S ONLINE!” Librarian: “Shhhh!” Justin:”Hey, I talk loudly in libraries. Why? Cause im a badass! ” ;)

#imagine Teacher: “… So that means your heart is made up of..?” Justin: “[your name]” Teacher: “Ugh.” -Justin sighs dreamily- xD

#imagine You’re sitting on Justins lap. he said:”I realised that out of all the 16 years of my life,you’re the best thing thats ever happened to me”

#imagine Justin:”Dad, I can’t sleep.” Jeremy: “Think about [your name]” Justin: “Great, now I’m too sexually excited to sleep!!”

#imagine you & justin were kissing. you could feel something rising on justin below.. Justin: “See what you do to me?” he blushes. <3

#imagine Pattie:”So what you doing with [your name] tonight?” Justin:”Taking her to my room.” Pattie: “WHAT?” Justin: “…I mean out for dinner.”

#imagine Justin: “I would do [your name] any day… ;)” Pattie: “Excuse me?” Justin: “I mean.. I love you mommy! :D” Pattie: “Nice save..”

#imagine Justin: “I dont think I love you.” you’re shocked. Justin: “I KNOW it.” he grabs your face & kisses you sweetly..<3 

#imagine Justin: “can you imagine the ocean without wawes or the sky without clouds? You: “nope.” Justin: “It’s just like me without you.” ♥ 

#imagine Justin: [Your Name] screamed my named so loud last night..Jeremy: Thats My Boy! Pattie: Justin!!   

#imagine Teacher: “Put that picture of [your name] away before I confiscate it!” *1hourlater* Teacher: “That’s it! Hand it over!!” ;D

#imagine jasmine: “kiss me” justin: “sorry, I’m married” jasmine: “WHAT? with [your name]?” justin: “not yet… but I will be ♥

#imagine Justin: Can I put [Your Name] As Your Laptop Wallpaper Pattie: no Justin: Oh … *Next Day*. Pattie: *Looks at Laptop*JUSTIN!!

#imagine Justin’s Dad : Had Fun last night with [Your Name]? Justin: Yeaaaaaahhh Man That Bed almost Bro- Pattie: JUSTIN!!!

I have a lot of #imagine tweets but you know me (; I’m lazy as Hell! HAHA!!! xD

Bisa dibilang untuk gue (anak remaja taon 0001 yang ketinggalan bus bumi) HOME SWEET HOME itu artinya PARADISE. Karena sih ya di rumah itu kita bisa dapet privacy seambruk-ambruknya and semua yang kita mau ada di rumah. Misal, butuh TOILET tapi di Cafe and harus lari kebirit-birit nyari toilet di bioskop lah atau di mall atau di pinggir jalan alias toilet umum yang jijiknya buju buneng. Hiiiiii. Mau makan juga nggak usah bayar ya tinggal our beloved bokap and nyokap yang bayar.

Gue lebih suka Tweeting and Tumbring di rumah pake comp atau BB, tapi lebih suka pake BB karena lengkap ada UberTwitter, Tumblr, BBM sama Facebook *promosi*. Apalagi gue ini ya anaknya demen mandi alias kerennya BATH BENDER. Wah kan enak di rumah tinggal langsung mandi. Daripada lo lagi di Rumah Makan Padang trus ada perasaan pengen mandi and minjem handuk, sikat gigi, odol sama pakaian dalem ke yang punya RMPnya ih. Apalagi kalo harus sampe numpang mandi. Wah Merapi muntah lagi dah ceritanya!

Adem kalo di rumah. Aman kalau ada gempa *promosi lagi*. Bahaya cuy bagi yang tinggal di Jogja kayak GUE INI. Tiba-tiba you stupid nggak tau kalo Merapi lagi demen-demennya kentut cabe *kentut/GAS (awan) cabe (panas)* malah manjat ampe atasnya cuma buat dapet sinyal buat Tweeting sama Tumblring. Jiahh udah ntar nggak sempet Tweetnya selesai, nyawa lo juga belom selesai shopping di Bumi. Berabe juga kan?!

Kalo di jalan raya kena ujan paku invisible, trus lo jalan-jalan diluar nyeker karena sepatu atau sendal lo jatoh tenggelem di sungai atau samudra pasifik, kaki lo mampus kena paku invisible kan atit *Red. “sakit”* Hii ngeri juga loh! *ngarang indah sih*

Adalagi, kalo seluruh hewan di Indonesia lepas dari kurungan ZOO/HUTAN trus menggila karena di tempat asalnya abis pada party *istilah PARTY ANIMAL* trus lo lagi diluar asik nyari WIFI gratis wah mampus aja lo bisa kerobek kulit lo, keinjek-injek lo. Wah! Mending di rumah aja meskipun entar lantainya grumul-grumul kayak latian gempa karena banyak animals nyoba shopping diluar kandang. Wuihh so berabe kan tuh ceritanya!

Masih banyak banget alasan lain *yang dikarang dengan indahnya* untuk menjadikan OUR BELOVED HOME untuk jadi OUR BELOVED PARADISE.

Nih pic diatas bukan rumah gue ya, kecakepan. Ini cuma contoh rumah yang layak dibuat Paradise asal anti maling ama anti atap bocor.

———- \(-o-)/ ———-

Sebenernya kita udah jadi sahabat baik dari taon 0001 tapi tetep aja gue nggak tau apapun tentang lo. Tapi lama-lama gue makin bisa ngeliat lo yang asli which is jerk-ish banget. Maaf ya, tapi ini yang selama ini gue liat dari lo dan sikap-sikap lo yang rese:

1. Lo obsessed banget sama Kids TV Show apalah which is childish.

2. Lo hypocrite yang artinya MUNAFIK.

3. Lo musuhin orang pake ngajak yang lain. Lo nggak berani kan?!

4. Lo sok perfect and ngarep lo nggak bakal dibenci which is WRONG.

5. Lo ngejauhin orang dengan alasan yang BEGO to the max.

6. Lo selalu ngejauhin masalah yang lo buat dan taruh orang lain di posisi lo.

7. Lo stupid. Yeah I said it.

8. Lo deketin orang yang lo benci kalo lo dapet masalah PEER ato UL apalah.

9. Lo palsu, abal sama muka lo juga abal tuh sok innocent.

10. Lo LABIL alias nggak punya pendirian sama sekali!

‘kay untuk yang nomer 10 gue mau ngasih penjelasan lebih lanjut.

—-

Lo itu sumpah LABIL dan nggak punya pendirian sama sekali. Lo selalu hiding behind someone else’s shadow! Lo itu ngikutin orang mulu dan nggak bisa apa ya STOP jadi COPYCAT! Lo takut ngehadepin musuh padahal kalo dibelakang lo selalu gaya ngejelekin dia. Lo suka janji tapi boong besoknya. Lo berpihak sama Heaven and Hell. Lo bilang lo benci dia, tapi main sama dia malah ngomongin gue! Lo santai aja gayanya bilang everything’s gonna be cool eh nantinya lo parno sendiri trus bawa orang lain ke masalah lo and kabur! Lo kalo udah punya temen lain ya langsung pindah tapi pas temen baru lo jauh nah lo deketin gue lagi deh! Lo temenan sama orang cuma buat maanfaatin doang dan dibelakangnya lo ngejelekin! DI Twitter lo jelekin gue tapi nggak punya nyali buat ngatain gue pake MENTION GUE. Lo PUNYA BANYAK kekurangan and LESS kebaikan! Masih banyak yang mau gue buka tuh aib lo! Sayangnya lama-lama gue males nginget muka dan sikap lo! Banyak orang yang pasti bilang in kejam but damn it IT’S THE TRUTH! Gue JUJUR. GUE NGGAK SALAH LIAT. THAT’S WHO YOU REALLY ARE FROM MY EYES!

AFTER ALL I’VE DONE FOR YOU, THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?!

YOU’RE NOT EXACTLY A GOOD FRIEND AND IN FACT YOU WOULD BE THE WORST FRIEND ANYONE CAN EVER HAVE!

STOP FAKING, STOP BEING A POSER AND CUT THE CRAP OUT!

—-

Sejak hari Kamis tanggal 28.10.2010 sahabat deket gue mulai ngejauhin gue tapi gue nggak tau kenapa. Waktu field trip dia ngejauhin gue, di bus dia ngomong sama yang lain sementara gue dikacangin. Maksudnya apaan tuh? Gue nggak terima dan akhirnya gue bales perbuatan dia. SMS dia cuma gue bales pake basa-basi doang, mentionnya di Twitter gue bales baru seabad kemudian. Waktu di sekolah, ada temen gue yang baik juga nyadar kalo dia mulai ngejauhin kita. Ya udah kita jauhin juga. Waktu pelajaran ya kita duduknya jauh dari dia and buat kesenangan sendiri.

I thought you were my friend. Ternyata lo muka dua. :)

Beneran ya, gue nggak buat salah sama dia, malahan I tried to pleased everyone. Kayaknya dia dodol or something karena meskipun dia jauhin gue, ya gue masih punya banyak sahabat sejati selain dia, sementara dia itu ya temennya cuma itu itu aja. Temen di dunia ini kan bukan cuma dia doang. Apa dia nggak sadar kalo dirinya nggak se-priceless yang dia kira? Dia kira tingkahnya diseneningin? No, honey. You’re level is way down there.

Gue tau sahabat gue itu lo. Please deh kalo nggak suka ya bilang aja. Kalo mau gaul sama yang lain ya bilang aja, nggak usah pake ngejauhin gitu. Okidi ue oke aja kalo lo bilang “Gue temenan sama yang lain dulu ya. But lo tetep bestie gue.” Tapi sial bener lo main ngomongin gue dibelakang seakan-akan ada masalah. Denger ya, gue nggak bakal ketipu sama muka manis lo yang bersinar gitu.

Gue males ngomongin lo di Tumblr. Nambah emosi. Capek ah. :(

PS: You’re so GALAU, LABIL, GAJE and BCT!!! :S

.

A: Hey, what do you love about school?
B: Almost nothing. Except for the people in the school like my friends!

—

Teacher: What does the “Y” do in …x…?
B: Oh. Y (why) questions x you = suck :)

—

A: Did you studied for today’s History test?
B: Duh like yeah! Studying is HISTORY :)

—

B: Is that a new teacher?
A: I dunno. I never wanna look at teachers. Their face could give me a heart attack, dude.
B: Why?
A: ‘Coz they’re even scarier than Davy Jones.

—

Teacher: Ok. What did you all learn today?
A: How annoying you can be when you open your mouth and start speaking.

—

B: I’m so gonna get an A!!
A: Duh?!
B: I GOT AN A +…!!!
A: OH YEAH I GOT… F!!
B: Why the heck are you cheering for F?!
A: Duh?! F means Fery Good!!

—

A: Lunch time!
B: Oh wait I have to finish my ass (assignment) first and then I’ll —-
A: Why do you have to finish writing your ASS?! I thought you have to take off your pants first?

—

Teacher: Your grades could kill you!
A: No, YOU will kill me first then my grades will bury me.

—

Teacher: Do you know what’s the first old name of USA?
A: Ehhh… Yo no hablo Inglés!! (I don’t speak English).

—

A: Can I borrow that thing?
B: You mean BOOKS?
A: Yeah, that.
B: You can borrow it from the Library.
A: Oh wait wait! OUR SCHOOL HAS A LIBRARY??
B: Yeahh… -,-
A: Wait… What’s a library?

—

Teacher: And… START!
A: What are we supposed to do again?
Teacher: It involves Frogs!
A: Ew, I hate frogs!
B: Good. ‘Coz we have to cut this frog’s… Whatever, to see what’s in it.
A: SAVE THE FROGS!! SAVE THE FROGS!!

—

B: What do you think about the new school mascot? Better than the old one, right?
A: I think all mascots are jerks.

—Y

:p

If your name is written in these stories, please do not be offended.
Thank you.

I’m sorry if some of the jokes are too rude and mean. I copied these jokes from Twitter and of course I made some of these jokes too. :)

(Outside a restaurant)
Justin: Ladies first!
Jessica: Thank you, Justin.
Jasmine: Thank Y—
Justin: I SAID “LADIES FIRST”…!!!

—

You: Mom!! Mom!! MOOOM!!!
Your Mom: WHAT?!!
You: Nothing. Psh peace out, mom!

—

Jasmine: *Falls*.
You: Hun! Are you okay? I’ll get a Doctor as soon as I can!!!
* takes the Long way and Even stops at MacDonalds*

—

Your enemy: ow!
You: Oh I’m sorry… My llama Said if she Could Kick you….

— (A=You, B=Your enemy)

B: Hey, [Your name] :)
A: *Takes out Phone* Yes Officer, I would Like to Report Murder.

—

B: Hi Lil kid.
A: Mom, is this The punk you told me to stay away from?
A’s Mom: Yes, honey.

—

B: Look there’s a car coming.
A: Cool! Why don’t you jump In front of it and see what happens?

—

Your Friend: I’m dead if my grades flunked!
*Looking at her/his grades*
You: Are they bad?
Your Friend: Uhh, yeah…
You: You’re such a big fat liar!
Your Friend: Dude, Why?!
You: You said you’re dead if your grades flunked! I was waiting until it happens!

—

You: Mom, that woman across the street is carrying a baby after she left that building… (CHILD SHELTER)
Your Mom: So?
You: You said babies came from mothers, right?
Your Mom: Well, yes.
You: Mom, before she goes to that building she wasn’t pregnant.
Your Mom: Yes…
You: OMG YOU LIED TO!! BABIES CAME FROM THAT BUILDING… WHAT IS IT CALLED?? CHILD SHELTER!!!

—

Celeb: Hey, Luvies!
You: Dude, I’m 9 and for me, that word’s gross. Not all people are your “Luvies”…!!!

—

You: You guys want a joke?
Your Friends: Yeah, sure.
You: [Your enemies name]. There you go :)

—

You: All girls/boys are beautiful/handsome. What happened to you, [Your enemies name]?

—

B: All dogs belong in the animal shelter! Yuck!
A: Hey, you’re still standing here? You said you know where you belong!!

—

A: *Looking at a pic of an ape* OMG look! It’s you! Your pic is on a site!!
B: What’s the link?
A: www.aperescuer.com
B: …

—

Your Enemy: I got more followers than you.
You: u tried To put your name as ur password ..it said” Error to ugly”

—

I have more jokes but I’m afraid there are way too many rude and mean jokes.

98% jokes in this post are from Twitter (Not my Twitter!).

Thank you for reading :)

Ciao! :))

“There’ a Sponge living under the sea named Bob. He wears Square Pants.” - @shillola
www.twitter.com/shillola

Siapa yang nggak suka Spongebob ya? Kayaknya nggak banyak. Dari TK sampe sekarang (2 SMP) gue masih seneng nonton Spongebob coz nggak childish banget kayak Dora.

Asal Mula Jadi Spongebobeliever:

Dulu gue kira Spongebob itu nggak ada bedanya sama Dora, tapi pas gue nonton ya seru juga. Beda banget sama Dora yang cuma tentang petualangan nggak jelas gitu. Spongebob itu lebih REAL dan FUNNY.

Setiap episode itu nggak ada yang childish. Ada yang LOL banget. Tapi bukannya gue ngejek Dora. Tapi, Spongebob stays “teen”-ish. Nggak kayak Dora yang pas kita lebih tua pasti ngebosenin.

Spongebob itu lebih ke comedy. Asyik aja gitu ditonton.
*bukannya promosi loh!*
Gue udah jadi Spongebobeliever sejak TK kali ya? Entah kenapa, selain Spongebon gue juga suka Squidward. Palingan coz mirip gue kali ye? Nggak suka orang yang cerewet, tukang marah sama suka Art. *wah kembar!*

Yang nggak jelas tuh si Patrick, Pearl, Mr. Krabs (Eugene Harold Krabs). Tapi gue demennya sama Patrick and Mr. Krabs doang. Ahihi :D

“I’m ready! I’m ready!”
- Spongebob Squarepants

“We’re talking about this (…) and this (…) and THIS (…)!!!”
- Spongebob Squarepants

“Ahh! A fying SHOPPING LIST!!”
- Spongebob Squarepants

“Remember! He was number one!”
- Spongebob Squarepants

Next time I’ll talk about UGLY BETTY :b

Ciao! :))

memang title-nya itu telenovela banget. Tapi ini tentang fairytale yang temen gue di negara lain bikin. :)
(Twitternya: @nutellabieberr)

Di suatu dunia, yang namanya “Night world” ada benda hidup namanya Nutella. Dia bisa dibilang pake kata “she”. Nutella punya pacar di “Morning World” namanya Choco.
Kisah Nutella dan Choco mirip kayak Romeo & Juliet. Mereka ketemu diem-diem di antara Night & Morning World, After-Evening World. Mama si Nutella nggak setuju kalo dia pacaran sama Choco karena beda dunia.

Meskipun dilarang, Nutella bodo amat dan terus ketemuan sama Choco. Sampe akhirnya, di hari perayaan N & M World, Nutella dan Choco kabur ke A-E World. Sayangnya, tentu masyarakat lain tau kalo tuh 2 benda hidup ilang.

Waktu warga sibuk nyari, Nutella dan Choco terbawa suasana dan akhirnya Choco nyanyi buat Nutella. Karena suaranya Choco, yang meskipun merdu tapi keras itu didenger warga N & M, mereka emosi dan tanpa sadar buat Nutella dan Choco meleleh alias Is Dead.

Tamat :(

*Nggak Jelas*

Makna:
- tanggunglah sendiri resiko atas semua yang kamu perbuat!
- Jangan terbawa suasana! Waspada pada keadaan sekitar!
- Romance can get you killed.